The Importance of Brotherhood

No More Lone Wolf

Some people might say that men need brotherhood because they can’t survive without. Those people would be right. Boys need to develop a strong network of SUPPORT in order to grow up to be successful, healthy masculine men. Not only are good examples needed in a young man’s life, but this network can provide them with the support to get through times of adversity and help them BUILD resilience when faced with challenges, as inevitably every man will be faced with, constantly. When the influence of a healthy masculine energy is missing, young boys lack order and discipline. When that energy is either dysfunctional or missing, the child suffers. I am a byproduct of that environment, but now having pursued brotherhood with men, I have never felt better, on my journey of betterment and Becoming a Better Man.

Brotherhood is defined as an association, society or community of people linked by a common interest, religion or trade. It can also be a feeling of shared interests and support amongst other men. We aren’t just talking about buddies or friends here, while you may share common interests with other men, go drinking with them or shoot the shit, that doesn’t make them a brother, or a brotherhood feeling linking you. There is a distinction. Because I’m a man, I understand the difference. Men that I consider brothers, rather than friends, have a very different set of descriptive qualities. Brothers in the sense of brotherhood are men that will hold you accountable, men that will hold you up and support you, men that will call you out if you aren’t being the man you said you were or want to be. They call you out on your shit.

When you create or have around you, a group of capable men, with the goal of betterment of the self, the other men, and your community at large, this “Brotherhood” can and will move mountains. There are so many benefits to brotherhood, including a sense of camaraderie and “belonging”. As men, we tend to think we’re alone, only we know what we’re going through, and we’re the only ones going through it. This isn’t the truth by the way. Those are intrusive thoughts meant to bring you down and bring you further into your shell, away from other men. I get it, solitude is also required as a man. But coming out of that Fortress of Solitude we build for ourselves is just as important. Men need other men, even superheroes need other men around. Men holding up other men and asking better of our brothers is absolutely essential to modern man’s survival. We are being attacked from every angle, why would we want to go against that alone? Men become more secure in themselves, develop a strong sense of identity, and genuinely feel better with other healthy masculine influences in their lives.

Let’s take a look at an example of a group of men coming together, united under the same goals and values. In the Vegas Golden Knight’s first season in the NHL, they made it to the Stanley Cup finals. Their first season in the league, and they made it to the pinnacle series. How did they do this? When the brass in Vegas got together previous to their draft lottery(they were given a list of current available players from the other teams), they decided to not go for any big name players, no stars. They selected a group of individual men that were considered grinders, the hard workers, the grit. Veterans with experience and young players needing guidance. Management had lofty goals, but they established a brotherhood amongst their players, not elevating any individual above the group, but holding each individual to the same standards, accountabilities and practices. They bought in to the community, the dynamic, the Brotherhood. By doing so, they almost achieved the loftiest of goals, winning the Stanley Cup and becoming the best hockey team that season, in their very first season. You can go a lot further when you have other men around you, focused on betterment and accountability, supporting you, compared to trying to do it all yourself.

Brotherhood and healthy masculine influence was severely lacking in my life growing up, and as a 30 something male on this journey of personal development and growth, I can see now how this was a detriment to my growth early on, and my transition from boyhood into manhood. It wasn’t for a lack of males around me, I have 3 brothers(all over a decade older) and a father, but I believe the age difference is what didn’t allow that bonding of a brotherhood between my blood brothers. I wasn’t confident in myself or my abilities. I wasn’t tested, I didn’t have examples of healthy masculinity, I had to go through years and years of trial and error in my journey, discovering myself how to talk to women, how to shave, how to change my oil, how to be a good man and how to be a better man. I used to think of it as an accomplishment, being able to get to the point I was, all by myself. The lone wolf, the sigma who doesn’t need anyone else around him. But I was wrong, and once I knew that, I had to create that space for myself. I found a page called Masculine Revival on Instagram, he also has a substack here. Joining the Brotherhood through this page has been amazing for me and my personal growth. I talk weekly, sometimes daily with men from all over North America, all different walks of life, different stories, different upbringings. But we all were searching for more, for Brotherhood. We found it. A group of men from all walks of life, united under the common goal of becoming better men, better brothers and fathers, being better partners and leaders in our relationships. We hold each other accountable, we support each other, we call each other out if we think another isn’t doing what they said they would or acting as they said. We hold our fellow brothers to a STANDARD, and that standard is high, but necessary.

Brotherhood is needed, more than ever in this society we find ourselves in. It allows for cooperation and joint action, while calling on men to be better and act better, and to hold themselves to a standard. Search out brotherhood over buddies. Its never too late to find other men on the same journey. You are not alone, and there are healthy masculine men ready to welcome you with open arms, and help you achieve what you set out to achieve. If you don’t have that around yourself, create it. Find men of similar values and goals, and work together to achieve. The age of the lone wolf is gone, men need to come together with other men for the betterment of communities and the world at large.